Friday, 21 September 2012

100 word challenge - Jamie

We were just sitting down for dinner when all of a sudden the window shattered in to thousands of pieces. I froze in fear. A light flew faster then a tomahawk,  two tornado  gr4's flew over. Then the light swithces came on and off! Then two more lazer lights went over. I jumped nervously  under the table. I found mud foot prints leading to the shed, when I followed them I saw the doors were opening and closing constantly.The phone rang, i picked up, but no one answered. then the door started knocking but there was no one there.....


  1. Hi Jamie!

    This story was brilliant, you used the idea of suspense well and your story made me want to read more.

    Well done!

  2. Hi Jamie!

    Thanks for entering the 100 word challenge!

    * I absolutely love "we froze in fear" - the short sentence makes the reader feel scared for you!
    * You have used a great adverb - "nervously" - which adds interest for the reader!
    * Your use of an exclamation mark adds to the tension and surprise in your story!
    w: I want to know what happened next! :)

    Hope to see you next week!

    Miss Windsor (Team 100WC)

  3. Jamie, I'm a little bit nervous myself reading your entry this week! Good job using suspense, and even in just over 100 words, you have a nice conflict set up. What is going to happen next?

  4. Wow! Jamie that story is amazing, well done.