Friday, 21 September 2012

100 word challenge - Jamie

We were just sitting down for dinner when all of a sudden the window shattered in to thousands of pieces. I froze in fear. A light flew faster then a tomahawk,  two tornado  gr4's flew over. Then the light swithces came on and off! Then two more lazer lights went over. I jumped nervously  under the table. I found mud foot prints leading to the shed, when I followed them I saw the doors were opening and closing constantly.The phone rang, i picked up, but no one answered. then the door started knocking but there was no one there.....

5 comments:

  1. Hi Jamie!

    This story was brilliant, you used the idea of suspense well and your story made me want to read more.

    Well done!

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  2. Hi Jamie!

    Thanks for entering the 100 word challenge!

    * I absolutely love "we froze in fear" - the short sentence makes the reader feel scared for you!
    * You have used a great adverb - "nervously" - which adds interest for the reader!
    * Your use of an exclamation mark adds to the tension and surprise in your story!
    w: I want to know what happened next! :)

    Hope to see you next week!

    Miss Windsor (Team 100WC)

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  3. Jamie, I'm a little bit nervous myself reading your entry this week! Good job using suspense, and even in just over 100 words, you have a nice conflict set up. What is going to happen next?

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  4. Wow! Jamie that story is amazing, well done.

    Lauryn.

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