Friday, 14 September 2012

Bethan, Natasha and Olivia- Newdale

looking behind me I saw.....

a big fears boggie man in a black suit, staggered towords me like a monster approching from the toilet.All of a sudden he drew out two long knives "what's for dinner " he growled but I hid in a corner."What shall we have then Gromet cheese crackers or a sausuge sandwich "the boggie man asked.I quickly ran home and hid in my room but all of a sudden there was a nock on the door it was boogie man and he asked to be our freind and I said yes but then al of a sudden he swallosd me up...


  1. Gosh what a surprising story I went from being scared to relaxed and then it has a sad ending :-( I really liked the use of staggered and all of a sudden. Well done.

  2. What a fearsome man!! good use of your quotation marks and I hope I won't go home and get swallowed up.

  3. Mr Morris Greenboro primary new jersey16 September 2012 at 11:39

    I liked your use of speech marks and when you used staggered a good first 100wc

  4. enjoyed reading your short story to my daughter. what you going to write about next week?

  5. Looking behind me,i saw a bunch of people trying to attack me, i tried to run but someone cought my leg,but i hit it i dont now what on earth they were doing to me but i was totalyy scard alright. I quickly ran to my house but on the way i saw somthing dirty and smelly it was a .........ZOMBIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was so scard i ran up the stairs and in to room and quickly locked my door as fast as a lightning bolt i told my mom buts she never belived me but its true.