Friday, 14 September 2012

Lauren, Isabella, Lena-Paige - Newdale Primary

......looking behind me I saw........

a masive,colourful fairground. With a rollercoaster that did loop de loop and tips you upside down.
I ran towards some orange bumper cars with a scarlet red flame. Next to it was a pole with many seats going across it going up and down rapidly. I could smell a warm melting cheeseburger on a hot barbecue. As I looked around I saw many people with beaming smiles on their faces. Then a glowing circus tent rose from the

5 comments:

  1. What a great story! I really enjoyed reading it today while working on the International Space Station. I don't often get to read many stories up here and I do miss fairgrounds and cheese burgers!

    I could start my own story like this - Looking behind me I saw the planet Earth...

    Captain Lewis T. Button (NASA)

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  2. Just read this. It is great.

    Madeleine A

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  3. Ohh you have made me really hungry! I hope its nice weather for a BBQ this weekend. I like the way you have described the beaming smiles and glowing tent lovely imagery.

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  4. Really enjoyed this. You've used very sensual language. My favourite is the 'warm, melting cheeseburger'... mmmmmmm :)

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  5. Dear Lauren,

    Having just read your 100 word challenge, I have to say I am very impressed. You have used excellent description to not only describe what you can see but what you can smell. Making your story about a fairground is quite unique. Why did you choose this topic.

    I look forward to reading your work in the future. Keep up the excellent writing.

    Mr Foster - Shrewsbury International School

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