Friday, 14 September 2012

Oliver, Luke, Molly - Newdale Primary

.......looking behind me I saw........

a teacher zombie angrily coming  towards me so I ran into classroom 9 but I saw a students turning into zombies . Suddenly I filled with fear ,I sprinted into the school kitchens luckily the school kitchens were not full of zombies then i heard screaming coming from the head teachers office so I ran into the office and saw the head teacher on top her desk screaming like a  baby because the vistors

7 comments:

  1. WOW! Oliver,Luke and Molly what a outstanding pice of writing I liked the bit were you said 'SuddenlyI filled with fear' Next time use a bit more punctuation.
    from Annalese and Olivia
    www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello Oliver,Luke,Molly,
    I enjoyed your story, due to the fact it has an intresting climax as the school staff were turning into zombies.I like your use of a similie like '....the head teacher on top her desk screaming like a baby'
    Next time, you could read through your work just to double check it makes sense.
    Good luck from your friends at
    www.6D2012.highlawnprimary.net

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hello,Oliver,Luke,Holly,
    I enjoyed the sentence ' I saw a students turning into zombies . Suddenly I filled with fear'and I like the sentence'I ran into the office and saw the head teacher on top her desk screaming like a baby because the vistors'.Next time try to use more vcop in your sentences.Fom your friend Jordan at www.6d2012.highlanwprimary.net

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oliver, Luke and Molly- Great job setting us down right in the middle of all this zombie chaos. Like everyone else who commented on your 100 word challenge, I loved the teacher screaming like a baby. It's ok to ignore correct punctuation, especially when you want to express anxiety or fear, but you still need to know the rules to understand when to break them.Will there be more zombies? Paul. TEAM 100WC

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oliver, Luke and Molly, Great job setting us down right in the middle of all this zombie chaos. Like the others who commented on your 100 word challenge, I liked the teacher screaming like a baby. It's ok to ignore punctuation when you want to express anxiety or fear, but you have to know the rules to understand when to break them. Any more zombies in the future? I hope so! Paul TEAM 100WC

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oliver, Luke and Molly- Great job setting us down right in the middle of all this zombie chaos. Like everyone else who commented on your 100 word challenge, I loved the teacher screaming like a baby. It's ok to ignore correct punctuation, especially when you want to express anxiety or fear, but you still need to know the rules to understand when to break them.Will there be more zombies? Paul. TEAM 100WC

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mr Morris Greenboro Primary New Jersey16 September 2012 at 11:41

    I felt real sorry for the poor old head teacher!

    ReplyDelete