Friday, 14 September 2012

Zoe, Holly, Jessica, Phoebe - Newdale

looking behind me i saw.......

a big eight headed dragon rose up out of the sea, everyone screamed but standed like a statue. A viking was behind the dragon on a humungusly , big , golden carriage. In a flash, the viking anounced the viking kings and queens name, "Greetings you ladies and gentleman here is the king Fire Eye and queen Fire Hand."Although the king and queen were nice they handed a special gift out.The viking guards were not that special or happy or nice. 

30 comments:

  1. Dear Zoe, Holly, Jessica and Phoebe,
    Well done! I like how you used some awesome adjectives such as ' humungasly' Next time, read through your work so you can spot your mistakes.
    from your friends at www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net

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  2. Dear Zoe , Holly , Jessica and Phoebe ,
    WOW ,that was amazing, I especially liked 'humungusly ' .Good use of punctuation too .
    Next time try to use more adgectives such as collosal instead of big .

    from your friend Charlotte D at www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net

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  3. Wow mr aiston our story looks great.
    Zoe

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  4. Wow, what a fab story! i think i would like to hear some more of this! It sounds very exciting and scary!!!!!

    from Holly's mum

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  5. wow what a brill story,its a shame it wasnt a bigger story,i still enjoyed it alot,i was impressed with them all, i enjoyed this one the most,well done zoe holly jessica phoebe.

    from Zoe's mom :);):);)

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    1. Thanks Zoe's mum! The challenge is to make it exciting using just 100 words. They will be doing this every week and we will be looking at other entries from all around the world.

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    2. well that is ok then i will tell zoe mr aiston.

      from zoe's mum or mom

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  6. Love the way you expressed everyone's fear of the dragon by making them statues, some really good descriptions.

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  7. This is great - Well done girls ! Some fabulous descriptive words used
    Claire (Phoebe's Mum)

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  8. that was from zoe

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  9. I love stories about dragons and combining a dragon with vikings is intriguing! You must have a good imagination! I think you've inspired me to try blogging with my own class. Well done.

    Mr Parker (Bournemouth)

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  10. Hello Mr. Aiston,
    I am going to do a story for you and your wife and kids to read.

    Once upon a time there lived a little girl named kirsten and her sisters ashleigh, caitlin , and of course her biggest sister of all zoe but an old school in the victorian times and still lived today and the schools name was... ( Rubbing the greenary off the sign )"ah newdale primary school , what an obvious school name for a victorian school."Well she didn't know what an victorian school was."I will go in and see what is in there."Then when she went in there was football posters and 1Direction posters.Then she saw a man and women coming down the corridor and told them there names.The was getting a new design...

    But this is not the end for that old , dusty school it had used to be.

    From Zoe

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    Replies
    1. Hi we are doing victorians at my school love your work.

      love Madeleine

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  11. Wow girls, I love the different ways you start your sentences! Very good descriptive words, It's a good idea to think of more wow words and does standed make sense?

    Mrs Dainty

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  12. Well i love the way the you Persuaded the king , queen , and the guards.

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  13. Wow i wonder why the girls ( Zoe , Holly , Jessica , Phoebe ) mix up with each other in the 100 word challenge.
    Zoe's Mum

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  14. Wow my mum does send millions of the comments on the blog.

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  15. sorry i did not put my name on that i will do that now from zoe

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  16. This is another story from all of the story's i have read on the blog.

    Looking behind me I saw A humungous monster appeared behind me which was staring at me with is big gloomy eyes. the monster is green like the grass, and when breathing fire burst out of is mouth. THE FIRE was hot as lava. The monster was as green as envy if he ever strikes at you it would be game over for you. when your foot goes any were near the dragon he will burn your foot. You need to run if you see this terrible monster. this monster is found in a bush or mostly camouflaged in a tree if you see someone struggling help to save a life. this monster is a deadly venomous big eight headed dragon rose up out of the sea, everyone screamed but standed like a statue. Suddenly, it breathed scolding fire which came as fast as lightning. They staggered towards me, arms outstretched like they were coming for a hug. Suddenly I filled with fear ,I sprinted into the school kitchens luckily the school kitchens were not full of zombies then I heard screaming coming from the head teachers office so I ran into the office and saw the head teacher on top her desk screaming like a baby because the visitors and I could smell a warm melting cheeseburger on a hot barbecue. As I looked around I saw many people with beaming smiles on their faces. Then a glowing circus. "What shall we have then Grommet cheese crackers or a sausages .He breathed a flame of fire and I jumped out the way then he started to get bigger and bigger like a giant. Then it grew another 2 heads and it pounced at me quicker than a cheater. I stuck up my shield then I swung it in his face.[BANG] then the hydra was hydra’s sandwich. Freya and a gleaming new necklace. "Where did you get that from," I asked curiously. as we went over the glowing rainbow bridge. We got to the end of the rainbow bridge, it started to rain. We both got drenched. Freya told me she had been to the cave of the goblins and kissed them to get the necklace. I was shocked and disgusted, no one kisses a hideous goblin because the green , ivy Goblins have poison on there lips to turn you into another or an 5th Goblin member of the fights to win everywhere but still had her powers!!

    From Zoe


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  17. Mr . Aiston can your daughter Madeleine reply the classes story from me ( Zoe )

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  18. Wow Zoe love it the story is so long you must of tried your best .


    love madeleine

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    1. Thank you Madeleine can you write a story now please. And just one last comment who is the person out of mr. aistons class ( my teacher ) is the name you love.
      love zoe

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  19. Hello mr aiston can i do the other story ( part 2 ) of the victorian story at 7:00 please.

    Love Zoe

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  20. Thank you Mr aiston can i put you into it and your wife and Madeleine and Hugo please.

    Love zoe

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  21. Then they saw grey , dusty ghost's flying around in the old , school hall with ripps in the walls.
    Although the ghosts were flying up in the air a goddess came down and hypnotized them and called out her name "I am Freya and get me the a gleaming new necklace. "Where shall we get that from!!!!" I asked curiously. As we went over the glowing rainbow bridge. We got to the end of the rainbow bridge, it started to rain. We both got drenched. they told me they had been to the cave of the goblins and had to kiss them to get the necklace. I was shocked and disgusted, no one kisses a hideous goblin because the green , ivy Goblins have poison on there lips to turn you into 5th Goblin member of the fights to win everywhere but still had her powers!!!!

    Can madeleine stay up to read this please Mr. Aiston.
    Love from Zoe Lauren Rose Beaman

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  22. Iam doing a 1000 word challenge on word.
    Love Zoe Lauren Rose Beaman

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  23. wow!that is an amazing story you have done well and worked realy hard with it .
    Stephen

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